From Pro. “Evil” Pete Ruggieri, regarding his candidacy for Chief Justice –

Two years ago Ubar was seeking a candidate for Venerable Prophet. My reflexes were slow. I accidentally made eye-contact and was subsequently nominated. As 2013 ended, I was once again Shanghaied into running for Master of Ceremonies. Someone said that the position comes with AYCE scrapple and they prayed on my weakness for “the other gray meat”. I somehow managed to make it through that year with only getting yelled at one time because of a horribly offensive toast. To Honor!
So, now I’m currently lucid and voluntarily running for Chief Justice. Why should you vote for me? Reason #1 – I’m running unopposed. Reason #2 I’m not George Hindson.