Today, we bring you the last in our series of Venerable Prophet Candidate Profiles. Ubar Grotto is very pleased to have no less than 4 (!) worthy Prophets vying for the position of Venerable Prophet of our Grotto. In an effort to help the members get to know these Prophets a little better, each of them has been asked five questions, the responses to which will be posted here.
From Jeff –
First off, I would like to thank all the members for even considering me for the honorable positions of Venerable Prophet. I also would like to wish good luck to my fellow candidates. Shaun “Spooner” Sponagle, who will kiss your butt with promises of cigars and booze (I’m screwed). Jack “are you a turtle” Harley, George nominated him, enough said. And last but not least Jay Laser, who the hell is Jay Laser?
Bellow you will find a list of crap that Seth Anthony sent for me to fill out. (Disclosure)
Place / County of Residence: The beautiful county of York. 33rd worst crime rate in the U.S. So, remember that as you cast your vote! I can find out where you live!
What skills can you offer as Venerable Prophet of Ubar Grotto?: I have no skills to offer! As Venerable Prophet I promise to do absolutely nothing to improve the status of this organization. I will bring nothing to the table at all. As I can see from all the people that have preceded me in this position, it is a long proud tradition of useless space fillers.
What is your favorite part of the Grotto experience?: What else, the all you can eat prime rib twice a year. The only reason I come to the other meeting is because of the drinks. And the fact that Tim begged me to sit in the Marshall chair that I still have no clue as to what I am supposed to be doing. Tim you suck!
What are your goals as you progress through the line, especially if you are elected to the office of Monarch?: As I rise through the ranks of Ubar Grotto my first goal is to bring Ubar and Azim closer together. What I mean is to send George Hindson to Azim on a permanent basis. Along with thi,s I plan on having many, many more units formed within Ubar. I don’t feel that the York Unit, Lancaster Unit, Fantasy Sports Unit, Fakroun Unit, and the Kentucky Colonels Unit are enough. If we could come up with 10-15 more units so we can waist more time during our meetings going over absolutely nothing that would be great. And last, party our bootys off as often as we can!
I can’t see how this kind of platform would lose. Please follow me in my “Shocking Y’all” campaign!
~ Pro. Jeff Fulton
* Past Master Riverside Lodge No. 503 (Editor’s note – which, surprisingly, still has a Warrant.)
* Valley of Harrisburg, AASR (Editor’s note – We can’t all belong to the Valley of Reading.)
* Senior Deputy Grand Tall Cedar York Forrest No. 30
* Marshal of Ubar Grotto