Ubar Grotto is an organization for members of the Masonic fraternity. It is a constituent body operating under the Supreme Council of the Mystic Order of the Veiled Prophets of the Enchanted Realm, having been constituted on July 23, 2011. The Grotto is officially located in Elizabethtown, PA, and meets on the fourth Sunday of each month, at the Spring Garden Conference Center in Middletown, PA. Meetings start at 6 pm. Questions and comments can be sent using the Contact page.
Merry Christmas, Prophets!
I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season, spending time with your families, avoiding awkward conversation with distant relatives at the yearly get-together, and partaking in some festive beverages (with the occasional toast, of course.)
While the end of the year is near, it’s appropriate that we reflect on the past year as a Grotto and realize what great work we’ve done from highway cleanups and raising money for our charity, to initiating 21 new members and much more. Think of it this way – we survived another year with George Hindson so we at least deserve a pat on the back and a celebratory adult beverage, right?
A toast to each and every prophet of Ubar Grotto for spreading sympathy and good fellowship throughout the realm and may you have yourselves a happy and safe holiday season!
Your Often-Pantsless Monarch,
Pro. David Labagh
All good things must come to an end. Thankfully, all bad things generally do as well. That was the case on Saturday, December 13, 2014, as the reign of Pro. Tim “The Tyrant” Settlemyer came to a screeching halt, as Pro. David Andrew Labagh was installed as the fourth Monarch of Ubar Grotto.
The event was held at the Lucky Ducks Restaurant in Elizabethtown, PA. This location is significant, as it was in the same building that Ubar held its first meeting more than three years ago. Ubar took over a good chunk of the second floor, sharing space with unsuspecting diners, who learned what it was to Grotto while enjoying their chicken fingers. The Prophets gathered at 6 PM for dinner and beverages. After several toasts, and good bit of well intentioned verbal jabbing, Pro. Settlemyer took his station to peform his last duty as Monarch – the presentation of the coveted title of “Sheik of Ubar.”
The Sheik of Ubar is given only once a year and is chosen by the elected officers of the Grotto, at the direction of the Monarch. Pro. Settlemyer was pleased to honor Pro. Jay M. Laser. Upon hearing of this selection, most of the crowd exclaimed “Who’s Jay Laser?” But, lo and behold, sitting quietly in the corner, covered in his dining bib, was Pro. Jay. The Monarch then led the officers in the conferral of the honor, including the title, plaque, and jewel. As usual, Pro. Laser was at a loss for words (he was also at a loss for a fez later in the evening, but a generous Past Monarch had his back on that one!)
Following the Sheik presentation, Pro. Seth Anthony, PM, was called upon to perform the Installation Ceremony, with assistance from Pro. George Hindson, PM, acting as Marshal, and Pro. Kimber Smith, PM, performing the part of Chaplain. While several officers were unable to attend, due to holiday commitements, Pro. Anthony installed those present, including Pro. David Andrew Labagh as the fourth Monarch of Ubar Grotto.
Pro. Labagh’s first act was to present Pro. Settlemyer with his Past Monarch’s Patent and Jewel, promptly telling him that he could stay on as Monarch if he wished. Tim declined and the show was all David’s. With not much left to do, David spoke about his plans for the year and then adjourned the gathering, enabling the Prophets to return to their sympathy and good fellowship, which had been interrupted by all of the official hullabaloo.
It was a great night for Ubar Grotto and we’re pleased to take direction from our new Monarch. A toast!
On November 23rd, Ubar Grotto held its final stated meeting of 2014 with an excellent Convivial to wrap up a great year of sympathy and good fellowship. For one last night, Pro. Tim “the Tyrant” Settlemyer was at the helm, yelling at the Prophets, receiving the same respect he found on his first day in office (hint: it’s little to none.) The Prophets, for their part, really couldn’t be bothered with Tim anyways, as they were far too busy shoveling massive chunks of prime rib down their gullets. While the meal was an all-you-can-eat feast, very few members were able to go back for seconds, thanks to the prehistoric portions they were served on their first trip through the food line.
While they were gorging, Pro. Andrew Sterling worked his auctioneer magic, selling several items and raising more than $400 for the Grotto. We’d like to attribute this income to his perky demeanor and charming wit, but we’re pretty sure that folks just wanted him to sit down faster.
As usual, after a meal of this size, the Prophets dozed off, leaving Tim to run a relatively quiet meeting. The bills were paid, George took a beating, and Pro. Tom Labagh, Sheik of Ubar, listend to the Dolphins lose. This is all in a typical night for Ubar. However, there was one highlight to the evening – the election of officers. With the grace of a railroad locomotive, officers were elected to serve Ubar for 2015. They are:
- 4th Monarch of Ubar Grotto – Pro. David Andrew Labagh
- Chief Justice – “Evil” Peter J. Ruggieri
- Master of Ceremonies – Pro. Mark G. Mattern
- Venerable Prophet (winning a 4 way race!) – Pro. Shaun “Spooner” Sponagle
- Treasurer – Pro. Doug “Greasy Thumbs” Harms
- Secretary – Pro. Seth “doesn’t know how to say no” Anthony
- Trustee – Pro. Teddy Sizemore
The Monarch-Elect annonced several of his officers, but the crowd was mostly too bored to care.
Congratulations to all and we hope to see you on December 13, 2014, at the Lucky Duck Restaurant in Elizabethtown, PA, for our Installation, which starts at 6 PM!
The year 2014 is coming to a close and Ubar Grotto has now celebrated its third birthday (after spending its Terrible Twos with George at the helm.) In three years time, the Grotto has given thousands of dollars to charity, sponsored local sports teams, helped kids, and had tons of fun along the way. But, any fraternal organization is really just a conglomeration of people; it’s the people that make up the organization, give it direction, and bring it to life. Understanding who we are is a key step to continuing our growth. As we finish this year, let’s take a look at the numbers and discover just who the men of Ubar are by the numbers.
Ubar Grotto has counted 127 men as members. Some of those have demitted, while others have been suspended for non-payment of dues. Two have passed away. After subtracting those, our final membership count, as of November 21, 2014, is 105. All the statistics presented use those 105 members for calculation.
The average age of a member of Ubar Grotto is just over 49 years old. Our youngest member is 22, while our oldest is 78 (and he’s still an officer!)
Ubarians hail from nine different counties within the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. We also have one member residing in the District of Columbia.
The members of Ubar represent 42 different Masonic Lodges, located in twelve different Masonic Districts. The average Ubarian has been a Mason for just a little over 13 years. The Grotto tops out with a 42 year member of Freemasonry, while some of the guys have been members of the craft for less than 12 months. 36% of the members of Ubar are Past Masters. Eight Ubarians are 33rd Degree Masons or have been nominated to receive that honor at its next conferring. Five members are Knights York Cross of Honor recipients.
Ubar Grotto is proud to be a fantastic cross section of the fraternity, as well as being a gathering place for dedicated Masons. This provides all the more reason for Masons to join our ranks, so get out there and remind your Blue Lodge Brothers of the fun their missing at Ubar Grotto!
Says David -
Who’s got two thumbs and is ready to be your next Monarch? This guy! I’ll make one promise and one promise only – I will be nothing like George Hindson. Thank you and you’re welcome. To watch my official candidate statement video, click here. Good talk. See you out there.
Today, we bring you the last in our series of Venerable Prophet Candidate Profiles. Ubar Grotto is very pleased to have no less than 4 (!) worthy Prophets vying for the position of Venerable Prophet of our Grotto. In an effort to help the members get to know these Prophets a little better, each of them has been asked five questions, the responses to which will be posted here.
From Jeff -
First off, I would like to thank all the members for even considering me for the honorable positions of Venerable Prophet. I also would like to wish good luck to my fellow candidates. Shaun “Spooner” Sponagle, who will kiss your butt with promises of cigars and booze (I’m screwed). Jack “are you a turtle” Harley, George nominated him, enough said. And last but not least Jay Laser, who the hell is Jay Laser?
Bellow you will find a list of crap that Seth Anthony sent for me to fill out. (Disclosure)
Place / County of Residence: The beautiful county of York. 33rd worst crime rate in the U.S. So, remember that as you cast your vote! I can find out where you live!
What skills can you offer as Venerable Prophet of Ubar Grotto?: I have no skills to offer! As Venerable Prophet I promise to do absolutely nothing to improve the status of this organization. I will bring nothing to the table at all. As I can see from all the people that have preceded me in this position, it is a long proud tradition of useless space fillers.
What is your favorite part of the Grotto experience?: What else, the all you can eat prime rib twice a year. The only reason I come to the other meeting is because of the drinks. And the fact that Tim begged me to sit in the Marshall chair that I still have no clue as to what I am supposed to be doing. Tim you suck!
What are your goals as you progress through the line, especially if you are elected to the office of Monarch?: As I rise through the ranks of Ubar Grotto my first goal is to bring Ubar and Azim closer together. What I mean is to send George Hindson to Azim on a permanent basis. Along with thi,s I plan on having many, many more units formed within Ubar. I don’t feel that the York Unit, Lancaster Unit, Fantasy Sports Unit, Fakroun Unit, and the Kentucky Colonels Unit are enough. If we could come up with 10-15 more units so we can waist more time during our meetings going over absolutely nothing that would be great. And last, party our bootys off as often as we can!
I can’t see how this kind of platform would lose. Please follow me in my “Shocking Y’all” campaign!
~ Pro. Jeff Fulton
* Past Master Riverside Lodge No. 503 (Editor’s note – which, surprisingly, still has a Warrant.)
* Valley of Harrisburg, AASR (Editor’s note – We can’t all belong to the Valley of Reading.)
* Senior Deputy Grand Tall Cedar York Forrest No. 30
* Marshal of Ubar Grotto